labor day

geoff's drinking too much the past few weeks. His moods are against me. We're getting married in six months and I'm nervous he's gonna yell at me in the morning with his hangover from partying this weekend with Jay, Jessie, Rory and Mattie. I was at my aunt's going over wedding plans with my cousin. I had a great time. had 3 glasses of wine sunday. and a margarita on labor day. Simple. Light. atleast compared to normal. I feel good. I like being sober. I like being fucked up. But I enjoy being sober. I come home to a mess. Glass on the floor. laundry everywhere. Jessie and Geoff are drunk. Jessie is blackout drunk and looked like she had been that way for a week. Geoff did ecstasy with mattie in the quarter on sunday and then ended up with Jay and Jessie. Got drunk. He slept on their couch. He got no sleep because they were fucked up and fighting all night. I mean me and geoff split an adderoll and played music all night the night before. I know its not just him. Its me too. I just want him to be sober with me sometimes. I want him to enjoy being sober. He can once he makes that step. but for him, it has to be a few days. not just one day. It fucks with his mood. I'm here for him always. I just hate when he's like this. Apparently Jessie tried to kiss him twice too. I know he loves me and would never cheat on me. I trust him. He even told me right off the bat. But then Jessie went drunk bipolar and started fighting with geoff and then trying to pick a fight with me. I don't need another drunken Jill in my life. I was getting her out of our house so geoff could relax and eat and go to bed. He didn't eat at all in the 36 hours I was gone. I got crazy Jessie home. Came back. Warmed him up some food because i could just tell without him saying it that he hadnt eaten. So i warmed up a pork chop and some peas. of course he has 3 bites and then bitches. he wanted mac and cheese. well we didn't have milk. but we had dirty rice mix and ground meat so i made that instead. But he still tries to pick fights with me. He hasnt showered or brushed his teeth in days. I hate it. I want him better. He doesnt realize what he says to me when he drinks. I hope he's not a morning grinch tomorrow. I need him to be nice to me. Damn it. I hate this.