Disrespect

It's really the worst when people don't respect one another. This generation is getting worst with disrespect for others. Everyone is so focused on themselves. There's so many reality shows based on stupid rich people who are obsessed with themselves and their followers obsessed over them. Well my boyfriend is a follower of Jill's alcoholic wannabe reality show. Tonight she came over for dinner along with my boyfriend, no one asked me. But still ok... So I'm cooking baked curry chicken, rosmary garlic potatoes and corn. So the sides are done but the chicken is still baking in the oven. So I went with Geoff to smoke a cigarette to talk to him about why he brought wasted Jill here and that I overheard her inviting her new flavor of the week over without asking. So we go back inside and I pull out the chicken. I go to serve up 3 plates for us and there's no corn left and half the potatoes are gone.... She ate them while we were outside taking about her disrespecting Geoff which he doesn't see it. And there so goes being a selfish using bitch again. Then of course, she goes on a drunken rant about how it's so hard for her to find a good guy and her roommate is jealous which I doubt. He's moving out because of her craziness in 2 weeks... Just blah blah blah my life is terrible blah blah. She makes her life terrible. She causes all of her own problems. And I had always hated people like that. Just stupid. Be grateful you didn't have drama before you created it.
Angry rant over. Now to go smoke and have a glass of wine.
Hopefully I'm not bitching about this again next week

Annoyed

I wonder if alcoholics and drug users annoy other people as much as they annoy me. Even in movies, I get annoyed now at the characters. They say they are gonna be home at a certain time, they aren't. They say they won't do it again, they do. They know it's not good for them and they know they hurt others but they don't care. They only care about getting fucked up.  I want to help them. They don't want help. I'm just frustrated. With dani, Geoff, and with frank. I'm watching st Vincent and he's a gambling alcoholic. I can't believe he gambled 2700 away instead of using it to pay his wife's nursing home rent. I can't believe frank is getting drunk instead of taking care of Kathy when she has a broken ankle and can't work. I can't believe dani is still getting drunk out of his mind everyday even though his mom died the same way and his dad is heartbroken that he's gonna lose his son the same way he lost his wife. And I just don't want to deal with Geoff's drinking for the rest of my life. I deserve better than that. He needs to be stronger for me.

Overthinking

I'm relaxing on a Sunday morning, in bed with my pets watching house of cards. Geoff is out of town in Arizona. We haven't really been getting along this past month. I want to say it's money related, but I feel like there are more issues lying underneath. I've been thinking about if I could end it and be happy still. He makes me happy but also stresses me to death. But I don't want to lose someone who I have no secrets from and I'm completely open with. I enjoy our home together. My crazy family loves him and I truly love his crazy family. Kathy is having a hard time with Frank and his drinking. This scares me because I can see Geoff doing things his father does. And I don't wanna to hurt like Kathy is hurting. It already kills me when he's drunk and has said that I'm useless and an idiot. That can't happen anymore. Only twice, it has happened. But I'm saying once twice. I'll already let it happen. I want to help him and leaving him for awhile, may help him or it may not. Then I'll feel terribly guilty as I do with anyone I care deeply about.

Now I need some me time. Shower. Shave my legs. Paint fingernails and toenails. Make asparagus soup. Clean up house. And pay entergy.